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Have you guys ever have a fear of growing up or struggles or growing up? well i am experiencing it right now and i’m gonna share a story about my struggles and reasons why i’m afraid of growing up.

storytime

Soooo ever since i was a kid i used to get very excited for birthdays. coz get a lot of cake and be happy. but when i got older like when i reached 16/17 i am less enthusiast of birthdays. because i have a fear of getting older. like it’s really fast and it teriffied me. i kinda rant and vent to someone about it <33 and they told me its normal to experience it. but i’m really scared of experiencing growing up. 😦

The truth is…. i might get attacked because of sharing this. but i felt like the reason im afraid of growing up because i felt like i haven’t achieved some milestones or do things that i’m supposed to do. i have struggles trying out new things… like lack of motivation and i get lazy all the time.

I want to become a singer and to be honest i hope i can achieve it in the future but what are my interests besides singing?….. i felt like i can’t turn my interests back on. i can’t figure out what i want. and i was constantly asked ” do you know what do u wanna be?. be a doctor,join some webinars,be a lawyer.” i’m like ….. ? its not that easy 😂😂. we have to know what is the pro and cons to be what we want.

okay i don’t know… i need to make a vision board and have some solitude . and to reflect on my goals….. i’m gonna be 18 in 2 days and it’s nervewrecking and i don’t know what to do:(

i will be 20 in 2 years and it’s gonna be horrible and awful:( the fact i didn’t know what im gonna be in my future just frustrated me .

they are all like ” its gonna be okay”. like okay this is scary i’m sorry. but don’t say everythings gonna be ok when its not…, just give some space and try to calm down..

or we can use some words of affirmations to remind ourselves ” u are enough,u are worth it,u are talented and amazing “.

that’s it.

i can’t say much because i feel like a nervous wreck….:(. i am gonna cry i just dislike birthdays:( i just don’t get it 😔😔.

But i’ll see what i can do to be myself and never give up